Idiot Teenagers With A Death Wish
by PowerPen
Summary: The story of six kids trying to save six kids trying to save the world.
1. Intro

**Idiot Teenagers With A Death Wish **

My name is Kenoi. And I hate my job.

Do you hate your job? Maybe you're a firefighter, battling deadly blazes. Maybe you're a cop, facing murderers on a daily basis. Maybe you're a secret agent, fighting to secure the future of your nation. Maybe you lie awake at night, thinking about the terrible things that you've seen, or even done. Or maybe you sit at a desk all day, pushing papers and signing letters. Maybe you're sick of working tirelessly, knowing that it there is always going to be another day, always more work, always something else you have to handle. I have only one answer to anybody who feels this way:

Suck it up.

Your job is cake compared to my job. It is double fudge moist chocolate cake with sugar on top compared to my job. Unless you are one of my five friends, go do your little job and be thankful that its not mine.

We get no vacations. No sick leave. We work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. We do things that no sane person would do. Our lives are on the line at every moment. We have the weight of the world on our shoulders. And we sure as hell don't get a medical plan.

We literally hold the fate of the world in our hands. Or, at least we hold the fate of six kids in our hands, and they hold the fate of the world in their hands.

We are the Animorphs' guardian angels.


	2. Chapter 1

_The truck was no longer moving on multiple wheels arrayed along both sides. It was crazily tipped to the left, moving solely on the wheels of one side. _

_ Aaaahhhhh! _

_Bull and steer were all shoved to on side, piled against one another. The floor of the truck bed tilted up and away at an absurd angle. _

**_Muscles straining, wings beating against dead air. So tired..._**

_It was going to tip over! _

**_No! Harder...Push harder! _**

****

_And yet...the truck kept moving. On the wheels of one side, tilted almost on its side, it kept moving! _

**_Agony...One last superhuman shove... _**

****

_And slowly...slowly...so...slowly...the angle diminished. We tilted back to the right. Then... _

_WHAM! The truck settled back onto all its wheels. _

**_Road...Hard...Pain..._**

"Get up, sleepyhead." A voice said. I groaned and rolled over, staring at the clock on the dresser. It couldn't be eight already!

"No," I mumbled.

"No." Rachel echoed.

"Get up or you'll be late for school." The voice said again.

"Kenoi, get up." Another voice growled. I blinked my eyes and glared at Ryhasia, one of my best friends. She was the guardian angel of Jordan, Rachel's little sister, so we saw a lot of each other. Guardian angels live around the clock with their charges, so they tend to have the same sleep cycles. Jordan and Ryhasia were morning people. Rachel and I were not.

"Go away!" We both moaned. We simultaneously pulled the covers over out heads.

"Get up!" Jordan and Ryhasia both snapped. Another side effect of living with your charge, in case you haven't noticed, is that we often do and say the same things.

I phased my hand partway into the mortal plane and flung a pillow from Rachel's bed at Ryhasia, and Rachel did the same to Jordan. Of course, my pillow passed straight through Ryhasia, and the result was that Jordan was creamed by both of them.

"Fine, Rachel." Jordan said, and grabbed a book that was skillfully hidden on the underside of Rachel's desk. I, of course, knew exactly what it was. "I'll just take your diary and-"

Rachel leapt swiftly out of her bed, dislodging me from my position on her right shoulder.

"Kenoi, stop her!" Ryhasia yelled.

"Hey, All I have to do is stop her from hurting herself, not her sister." I yawned. "That, my friend, is _your_ job."

Rachel lunged at Jordan, and she yelped and ran. Ryhasia charged after them both.

I yawned and curled up on the bed.

WHUMP! WHUMP! Loud thumps echoed from downstairs, and then there was a tremendous crash.

"Keep it down, will you?" I yelled.

There was a loud slamming noise, and I heard Ryhasia screech in pain and frustration.

I pulled the covers over my head and caught about five minutes of sleep before Ryhasia stomped back into the room, sporting a black eye and a temper.

"Ooh, that bad?" I said.

Ryhasia glared at me. "I could have used a little backup down there, huh?"

I yawned. "I was up all night, because Rachel decided to go flying with Tobias. I also had to go through the torture of miniaturization. Cut me some slack?"

She threw the diary at me, and I stuck up my hand up in time to miss it and get smacked on the head. Ryhasia is a great person, but she just didn't understand how hard it is to guard an Animorph.

"I better get going." She said, rubbing her eye. "Jordan just left for her bus. Rachel's snagged some pop tarts, and is on her way out. You had better get going, too."

I heard a door slam downstairs. I sighed and ran after her.

The morning was long and boring, which was just fine with me. A few weeks ago, I had spent the night at a meat packing plant, "preventing" a yeerk plan that any angel could have told you was pointless. It took all of our powers to get everyone out alive.

As guardian angels, we have some seriously cool powers. Our first, and main, power is phasing. We can phase between the two planes of existence, the Mortal Plane and the Astral Plane. In the Astral Plane, we can pass through object in the Mortal Plane, and vice versa. We can also phase halfway and pause between the Planes, which has some weird effects. We are invisible to mortals, just like if we were in the astral plane, and we can partially interact with objects in both planes. This is the phase we normally work in. I, if I may say so myself, rock at phasing.

The second power is our wings. I have no idea what makes our wings grow, but I have no clue as to why our wings are still as small as they are. We certainly work hard enough. Only Zaro's wings are at their full size.

Our third power is miniaturization. You know how you always see these Tom Thumb sized angels in the cartoons, sitting on their charge's shoulder, smiling serenely? Those are totally inaccurate. What you should really see is a Tom Thumb sized angel, sitting on their charge's shoulder, grimacing in intense pain. Because miniaturization is _painful_. Some totally weird angels, like everyone else besides me, don't mind it at all. I think that I'm the only normal one.

Our last power, and in my opinion our most pathetic, is the power to suggest. We whisper into our charge's ear, and this will implant ideas into their heads, which they may or may not listen to. I don't really care for that power, since Rachel _never_ listens to me.

"The answer is 25.9 radians!" I yelled as loudly as I could, directly at her left ear. "25.9!"

"95.2 radians." Rachel answered. A lot of the guardian angels in the room snickered.

"That's not how you do it." Alip sighed, as the teacher shook his head. She leaned over and whispered gently into Cassie's ear. "25.9 radians. 25.9 radians. 25.9 radians."

Cassie raised her hand. "25.9 radians?"

Alip smiled. She doesn't really think that phasing and wings are all that awesome, but she is great at suggesting. We were sort of trying to rush the Animorphs to the mall, because Erek was waiting there with important news. I, personally, wouldn't mind if Rachel had to stay after school. Erek is a good person, but I damn every word out of his robotic mouth.

Wait, I take that back. When you're an Angel, you really shouldn't damn something unless you mean it. It can have serious consequences.

"Good." The teacher said, suddenly drowned out by the sound of the bell. There was an immediate stampede for the exit.

"C' ya." I waved to some of the other guardians as our charges went separate ways. I perched myself on Rachel's shoulder, the natural resting position of a Guardian angel. It takes years of training to learn how to balance there, so don't try it at home.

I groaned as Rachel snuck behind the back of the school. She was planning on morphing eagle, and that meant I couldn't balance on her shoulder. I didn't have my wings either, So I had to miniaturize.

As I prepared myself for the pain, two familiar shadows flew over my head. Rachel only saw one of them.

(Hey, Tobias!) She called, soaring up to meet him. I waved at Zaro, wings spread wide. I swear that they were even larger than last night. He had earned his wings early on, during our first trip to the yeerk pool. None of us knew how, and I had the sneaking suspicion that he wasn't going to tell us. Especially because he said 'No' the last time I asked him.

"Hey, Kenoi." He called. "Want a ride this time?"

I breathed a sigh of relief and phased mostly into the astral plane. Zaro grabbed me and hauled me into the air, flying after Tobias and Rachel.

"Thanks." I yelled over the beating of his huge, feathery wings. "I _so_ have to get myself a pair of these. Where'd you get yours?"

He smiled wearily at me. "You'll get them when you're ready for them."

"Yeah, but how am I supposed know when I'm ready for them?" I prodded. "You'll have to tell me what the requirements are."

He gave me a look.

"Come on." I pleaded. "Pleeeease?

He looked at me seriously. "Really, Kenoi. You can only get them when you're ready for them. If I told you how I got mine, You'd probably never be able to get yours."

I didn't answer, and we flew on in silence. 


	3. Chapter 2

**Jadia**

My name is Jadia. No last name.

No, seriously, I don't have a last name. Maybe I used to have one, maybe at some point in my existence my name wasn't even Jadia. Most angels don't care about those things, but some angels like me are obsessed with it. When my charge and I were younger, and leaving him unguarded was relatively safer, I would slip off to the library to read endless human books about guardian angels. According to them, before I was an overworked guardian angel to an ungrateful, half-brained, risk taking, danger addicted-

Sorry.

According to them, before I was a guardian angel I was a human. A girl with a past, and a family, and a life that consisted of more than babysitting a dumb teenager. Then I died, and God or some other deity decided to send me back to earth as a guardian angel, erasing my memory of my previous life while they were at it. That's what really worries me. What if I was this terrible person, and this is my penance? Or what if I was this great hero, and I can't remember it? It's enough to make anybody go insane.

Something else worries me, a question that haunts my many sleepless nights. What if angels weren't randomly assigned to their charges? What if some cruel prank had not been pulled, and some past version of myself had a choice? What if I had actually chosen to guard Marco?

He is quite possibly the most annoying, least funny, and irresponsible person I have ever known. By default, he should have been responsible and charming, like me. Who knows, maybe it was all the time we spent apart when we were little. Anyways, maybe if he were responsible like me, we wouldn't be sitting in detention, late for yet another animorph meeting.

"Let Marco out early." Ker'al whispered. "Let Marco out early. Let Marco out early."

Mr. Chapman looked at Marco, who was humming and drumming on his desk with a pencil.

"Quiet, Marco." Mr. Chapman said sharply. Marco scowled and returned to doodling in his notebook.

"Sorry, Jadia." Ker'al said. He was the guardian angel of Mr. Chapman. We knew each other far too well.

**"Give Marco extra detention. Give Marco-"**

Ker'al spun around and tackled a red figure off of Mr. Chapman's left shoulder, who squawked and fell silent.

"We had a deal." Ker'al snarled. "You keep your mouth shut, and I don't interfere at feeding time."

**"Come on, Ker'al, you expected me to keep my word?"** He cackled. **"It's like you don't even know me."**

Lately, the jobs of guardian angels in California have become even tougher. It happened a couple of years ago, when two guardian angels, Ju-kai and Guawia, stated complaining about problems with their charges, Hildy Gervais and Allison Kim. Mind-controlling alien slugs had come to Earth, and had infested Hildy and Allison. Worse, they hadn't come alone.

Every species has guardian angels. Humans, Andalites, Hork-Bajir, Taxxon, Yeerks, and every other living thing. Even animals have guardian angels, but most aren't smart enough to realize that they're supposed to protect their charges, so they're just called spirits.

Different angels also have different powers, different appearances, and different priorities. The yeerk's guardian angels don't worry about the safety of their charge as much as we do. Their main goal is to help them get as high ranking as they can in the yeerk empire. Nobody knows how they really look, because when you look at them you only see what you expect to see. I see them as stereotypical bat-winged, fork-tailed, pointy-horned, scarlet monsters.

When a yeerk is inside of a host, the astral distinction between them blurs. The yeerk can faintly hear when the host's guardian tries to suggest, and vice versa. Unfortunately, that's the only way an angel can have any non-physical influence, because the yeerk is in total control. But thankfully, the yeerk guardian angels are about as good as Kenoi at suggesting, or else the animorphs would be dead.

**"GIVE MARCO EXTRA DETENTION!"** The figure bellowed.

Mr. Chapman rubbed his ear and checked his watch.. "It's been thirty minutes. It's time for most of you to go home."

He looked pointedly at Marco as he said this. I groaned.

As the rest of the detention dredges filtered out of the door, Mr. Chapman came over to Marco's desk. Marco didn't even look up.

"Marco." Mr. Chapman said. "You have yet again managed to earn a year's worth of detention in a single day."

"Don't say it." I warned. "Don't say it. _Don't say it._"

"I know. Amazing, aren't I?" Marco said.

"No, it is not amazing." Mr. Chapman said sternly. "You goof off in class, your grades are low, your homework is late, and you are barely scraping a D average."

"Yeah, I'm too busy trying to stop you and your species from taking over the world." Marco muttered.

"Excuse me?" Mr. Chapman asked.

"Nothing." Marco said. "Please, continue you highly stimulating lecture."

"This is not a lecture." Mr. Chapman said. "It is obvious that those do not work on you. Consider this a warning: If your grades do not improve, you will be transferred to Ms. Turner's class."

"The retard room?" Marco gasped.

"It is not the retard room." Mr. Chapman said automatically. "Ms. Turner gives extra help to students who are behind grade level."

"Sounds like a retard room to me." Marco muttered, grabbing his backpack angrily and turning to leave.

"Marco, we all know that you are a bright young man." Mr. Chapman said. "If you would focus-"

Marco slammed the door and started walking quickly down the hallway. I fell into step next to him, not bothering to get on his shoulder. For the better half of our lives I've been much taller than him, so my feet always dragged the floor when I sat there. Walking was much less of a hassle.

"It'll be fine." I said, even though I knew he could only half-hear me. "Just find out what news Erek has, go on an impossible suicide mission, beat all odds and save the world, then become a model student. No-problemo for Marco the magnificent, right?"

Marco cracked a smile. I, moderately alarmed, kept my mouth shut for the rest of the trip.


End file.
